I’m 21 and I’ve never been in love. I thought I was, more than once, but people who are obviously in love told me that…"you just know."
I’m a hopeless romantic, but at the same time extremely picky.
I’m also very hard on myself, because of my background I never feel like I deserve what I want. Am I doomed to be alone?

Now…
There’s this man. He matches everything on my list. I’m best friends with his sister (yikes), and we spend a lot of time together. I’m really into him and sometimes feel that he is into me, but my doubt gets the best of me.

I try to show no signs of interest for proprieties sake. I’m very traditional and will do nothing until it is certain that he likes me, and even then I believe that it is up to him to make the first move.

His sister knows about my "crush" and says that I’m obvious but that there is no way he knows or suspects anything. She also says that she thinks he is indifferent, but could be wrong.

We have mutual friends and one day last week I was with one of them and ran into the man in question. After our encounter she asked if there was anything romantic going on, and if not there should be because he was into me.
I asked why she would say that and she said…."I read his body language."

He never touched you, besides a poke or two. (signifying that he wants contact with you, but is afraid too much would be either inappropriate or would ignite too much emotion.)
Everytime you tried to end the conversation and leave, he would bring up something mundane to talk about even though on more than one ocassion he said that he had somewhere to be.
Even though our other friend was there his attention was on me…
He smiled a lot, and even blushed.

She said, "At the least there is definite attraction."

Sometimes he IMs me online, but I always make the conversations quick. I rarely IM him first because I don’t want appear to be interested. Once he sent me a video clip of Casablanca, and often he comments on mundane thngs like my picture or status.

Still i’m not convinced. I think he’s just nice, polite, and socially outgoing. I don’t understand the male brain, or the females. How can I act to encourage him (if he is into me at all) without being inappropriate. I try to compliment him on ocassion, NEVER touch him. Try not to pay too close attention to him. Rarely talk about him. I do giggle too much around him (much to my embarrassment) and smile a lot.

Anyways, that’s the ramblings of my giggling female brain. Your input and advice is both reespected and expected! Thank you!

I’m not sure what you could do to encourage him but not what you’re doing now. Make the IM conversations longer and ask him about stuff no matter how stupid it is. He’ll take the hint. Also you have a great opportunity being good friends with his sister. Tell her to ask him if he likes you!

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You’re 21….yikes….definitely a LOST cause…both of you.

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December 24, 2009 7:01 pm

I’m not sure what you could do to encourage him but not what you’re doing now. Make the IM conversations longer and ask him about stuff no matter how stupid it is. He’ll take the hint. Also you have a great opportunity being good friends with his sister. Tell her to ask him if he likes you!
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December 24, 2009 7:43 pm

Honestly, you are going to have to get some backbone and ask this guy out. You will never be able to tell if someone likes you until you put yourself out there. Plus it is very possible that he has not made a move becuase you are acting too reserved and avoiding his IM’s, etc. He might think that you don’t like him.

If he really does like you then he will not think you are acting innapropriate if you ask him out or at the very least make a more obvious move. And if it turns out that he doesn’t, then at least you have some closure.
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December 24, 2009 8:10 pm

Sweetie, the problem is that you are behaving like a 13 year old instead of a 21 year old. Why not break from tradition just this once and invite him out for coffee or something simple? Good luck!
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December 24, 2009 8:50 pm

ahhh gurl this is wut uve been waiting for ur enire life go out wit him!!! but i totally understand ur thinking pocess(ur jus like me) so ease into it just spend a lil more time with him and when u think the moment is right jus subtilly bring up the subject of dating not yall 2 but in general.since u polly dont wanna rush nething then like i said ease into it give him all da hints at da rite time and wait for him to ask..it might take sum mutual friend behind the scenes work idk)
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December 24, 2009 9:04 pm

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