I was diagnosed with PPD about 1 year ago to this day, but while I admit I don’t openly trust people, I feel I have significant evidence not to. They always slight me; whether or not they are verbally expressing it, they view me as a loser and a stalker, not worthy of their time. They have nothing but disdain for me. Therefore, I feel the diagnosis should be considered defunct. I’ll elaborate further.
Here’s the DSM-IV criteria for diagnosis:
A) A pervasive distrust and suspicion of others such that their motives are interpreted as malevolent, beginning by early adulthood and present in a variety of contexts, as indicated by four (or more) of the following:
1) "Suspects, without sufficient basis, that others are exploiting, harming, or deceiving him or her" – But I have sufficient basis, as I’ve seen many girls and a few guys look upon be with discomfort, so they obviously do dislike me. Also, I have a friend who keeps wanting to come over to my place to play video games, but never asks me to do anything else with him – plus he keeps borrowing my games; that is sufficient to assume he is befriending my games, not me.
2) "Is preoccupied with unjustified doubts about the loyalty or trustworthiness of friends or associates" – I’m sorry, what does this even mean? Friends come and go; people who show too much enthusiasm or too little are obviously thinking of me as a socially awkward loser. I am keenly perceptive on that.
3) "Is reluctant to confide in others because of unwarranted fear that the information will be used maliciously against him or her" – I have a few close friends (all of whom are introverted – extroverts are generally too sociable to give me any sincere respect, no matter what it seems like); ergo, this does not apply to me.
4) "Reads benign remarks or events as threatening or demeaning" – It is not a benign remark when I overhear somebody say "he’s so creepy (or weird)," that’s perfect evidence of their dislike towards me. Also, looks do kill in a sense; for instance, if a girl I’m interested in glances at me or holds a fixed gaze, she is likely to be comfirming her suspicions of my interest in her, which she most likely perceives negatively. Honestly, what sort of girl could ever want a nerd like me?
5) "Persistently bears grudges, i.e., is unforgiving of insults, injuries, or slights." – I never bear a grudge against people, ever. Sometimes it’s obvious that they don’t like me, so I try to put myself on the same page as them by nonverbally expressing my dislike towards them (eg. sneering, glaring) so they’ll think it’s mutual. But that is not a grudge, everybody does that.
6) "Perceives attacks on his or her character or reputation that are not apparent to others and is quick to react angrily or to counterattack." – When I hear people talking negatively about somebody, especially if they’re talking negatively to somebody about ME, I automatically assume that the person they’re talking to will develop that same opinion of me, realize the signs I show, and tell their other friends about me in the same manner. Ergo, I am likely in social disrepute. And typically I try to put myself on the same page as them, as I stated above.
7) "Has recurrent suspicions, without justification, regarding fidelity of spouse or sexual partner." – I don’t hve to worry about this; as stated above, no girl would ever date me, ever. Due to my reputation as a developmentally delayed stalker without the capacity for socialization, anybody who dates me will see their reputation drastically decline. Plus, none of their friends would ever think I’m cute because I am 192 pounds, 5’10", and I have both a double chin and big nipples. Oh, and I’m hairy all over – not thickly, but enough to be noticeable particularly on my arms.
B) "Does not occur exclusively during the course of, schizophrenia, a mood disorder with psychotic features or another psychotic disorder and is not due to the direct physiological effects of a general medical condition." – I have been diagnosed with AS when I was 6 and my parents told me that this would inhibit my ability to interpret nonverbal communication. No matter how much I tell myself I can read body language, the reality is, I am blind to it. I have been trying to fight this for as long as I can remember – trying to become aware of the perception others have of me. I’ve proven to be successful.
As my understanding of how others perceive me is accurate, does my diagnosis lose weight?
HA!
See, I guarantee, at least 10 people read this question, looked at it, said "OK, no, I have better things to do with my time" and left. Nobody cares about me, nobody.
You should consider doing some weight training to get yourself looking real good. the better you feel about yourself and the less you care about what other people think about you.
Forget about the perceptions of what other people think of you, this is your main problem. Think about what you think of yourself. Go answer some questions in "Singles & Dating" and see if your advice is worthy of Best Answer. I haven’t dated in over 8 years but this category was my primary selection when I first started in this forum. You can learn a lot about other people and yourself in Singles & Dating" Category. Next, try "Mental Health" then "Psychology" Categories.
Learning about the problems of other people will awaken your emotional heart that, perhaps, has been iced over by so many negatives in your life. It worked for me.
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