Comments on: Any one want to edit my work, its already been done but a second time… give opinions on how to make it beter http://bodylanguagevideos.com/videos-body-language-men-women/any-one-want-to-edit-my-work-its-already-been-done-but-a-second-time-give-opinions-on-how-to-make-it-beter.htm bodylanguagevideos.com Wed, 12 May 2010 13:07:59 +0000 hourly 1 http://wordpress.org/?v=3.2.1 By: loufedalis http://bodylanguagevideos.com/videos-body-language-men-women/any-one-want-to-edit-my-work-its-already-been-done-but-a-second-time-give-opinions-on-how-to-make-it-beter.htm/comment-page-1#comment-610 loufedalis Sat, 02 Jan 2010 03:31:59 +0000 http://bodylanguagevideos.com/videos-body-language-men-women/any-one-want-to-edit-my-work-its-already-been-done-but-a-second-time-give-opinions-on-how-to-make-it-beter.htm#comment-610 The very first sentence. Advertising is aimed to.... Nothing is ever "aimed to" it is always "aimed at" You would never aim a gun to a snake, you would aim the gun at a snake. The same holds true for advertising. Second sentence, I would choose to say" Advertising, as a competitive industry is one of....." I would rather say, "bus exteriors and shopping cart seats." I would not begin a sentence with "It", I would rather say "Messages are conveyed that attempt to influence.... My time is so limited right now, I wish I had seen this earlier. You have an interesting topic and seem to have your "ducks in a row" Best of luck.<br><b>References : </b><br> The very first sentence. Advertising is aimed to…. Nothing is ever "aimed to" it is always "aimed at" You would never aim a gun to a snake, you would aim the gun at a snake. The same holds true for advertising.

Second sentence, I would choose to say" Advertising, as a competitive industry is one of….."

I would rather say, "bus exteriors and shopping cart seats."

I would not begin a sentence with "It", I would rather say "Messages are conveyed that attempt to influence….

My time is so limited right now, I wish I had seen this earlier.
You have an interesting topic and seem to have your "ducks in a row" Best of luck.
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]]> By: Spencer Christmas Jr. http://bodylanguagevideos.com/videos-body-language-men-women/any-one-want-to-edit-my-work-its-already-been-done-but-a-second-time-give-opinions-on-how-to-make-it-beter.htm/comment-page-1#comment-609 Spencer Christmas Jr. Sat, 02 Jan 2010 03:14:59 +0000 http://bodylanguagevideos.com/videos-body-language-men-women/any-one-want-to-edit-my-work-its-already-been-done-but-a-second-time-give-opinions-on-how-to-make-it-beter.htm#comment-609 no it is fine just the way that it is.<br><b>References : </b><br> no it is fine just the way that it is.
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]]> By: Dee http://bodylanguagevideos.com/videos-body-language-men-women/any-one-want-to-edit-my-work-its-already-been-done-but-a-second-time-give-opinions-on-how-to-make-it-beter.htm/comment-page-1#comment-608 Dee Sat, 02 Jan 2010 02:46:59 +0000 http://bodylanguagevideos.com/videos-body-language-men-women/any-one-want-to-edit-my-work-its-already-been-done-but-a-second-time-give-opinions-on-how-to-make-it-beter.htm#comment-608 Pretty good! Nice work!<br><b>References : </b><br> Pretty good! Nice work!
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