What makes someone appear approachable?

I’d sure like to know, because I’m under the impression that, often, I don’t appear approachable when I’m out in public. If this is the case, I don’t know or understand why. If someone makes eye contact with me, I usually give a modest smile. If someone talks to me, I’m polite. The one possibility I can speculate is, maybe it’s subconscious body langauge, which I’m completely unaware of.

Example:
I’m a regular patron at a particular restaurant. If I’m not seated where my regular server is, that server won’t come over and say hi to me, and she walks right past me like I am not even there. Yet, if they are other regulars there, who are not seated in her section, she’ll go over and chit chat with them. When I am seated in her section, she is friendly but doesn’t make any conversation. I always tip 20%, so it can’t be a tip grudge. Maybe she just doesn’t like me. If so, I can accept that, but this is *not the only* place or person this has happened with. It happens often. :(

Do you try to strike up conversatiuons with people…such as the server you mentioned? Maybe you are too quiet. try to conversate more. Its good that you make eye contact and smile. Try saying hi or hello or something of the like to someone who makes eye contact with you. That may make you seem more open.

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Body Langauge Tips

February 16th, 2010

5 responses

5 responses


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innovator

a smile often works miracles if you use it effectively , having the confidence to be the first to get somebodies friendly attention effectively is often attained with a friendly smile , if you don’t have any facial expression or little body language when attempting to interact with a stranger then you will come across the wrong way and you may feel embarrassed after exchanging a few short words and the conversation will soon end….. so the key here in your case is have confidence in your confidence, stay positive and cool ,smile with positive expressions , use all your speed of wit humor and intelligence
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February 16, 2010 10:08 am

Hope E

A sincere, open, smiling face. Key word, sincere. Open body language. Folded arms, crossed feet, looks unapproachable.
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Observation

February 16, 2010 10:28 am

vadnj0

I would say the colour of your skin and your size. For example, I am a big native guy. I never have anyone say anything to me. I am not hurt by this, however, I just shake my head at all the sheep out there and say, "hmmm, how typical". If you’re skinny and white, you have nothing to worry about. If there’s something different about your skin or size, prepare for the worst. People are so typical and obvious.
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February 16, 2010 11:07 am

Just Me

Do you try to strike up conversatiuons with people…such as the server you mentioned? Maybe you are too quiet. try to conversate more. Its good that you make eye contact and smile. Try saying hi or hello or something of the like to someone who makes eye contact with you. That may make you seem more open.
References :

February 16, 2010 11:57 am

Aravind K

it all depends on how you perceive things.
References :

February 16, 2010 12:09 pm

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